Exhaling

At a recent yoga class I attended, the teacher began with instruction to focus in on our breath and become aware of balance: were our inhale and exhale both even and balanced?  I was surprised as I began to pay attention that my exhales were less steady and shorter than my inhales.

I started thinking about how our body uses exhales to let go of what it doesn’t need.  Perhaps in life I am used to taking in so many good things: a LOT of information, teachings, friendships, spiritual and religious learning.  But this reflects in my schedule: I have so traditionally been over-involved and over-committed.  Steady at inhaling, at committing to all these things that feed me in various ways, but unsteady in letting them go: exhaling feels a little like carrying too many things at once and being surprised when one occasionally drops.  I almost feel afraid or reluctant to exhale, to let things go.

I’m becoming aware of this unsteady tendency of how I let go of my breath and so many other things in life.   I’m learning to accept letting go of good things, of transition, to make space for my next inhale, for my next friendship, for the next company or church I will be a part of.  I’m letting go of the way life was as a single person to make room for the way life is living in union with my spouse.  I’m letting go of the way I connected with my church as a single person to make room for the way Jeff and I connect with our church as a couple.

God, I believe you are the center, the balance of my life.  Guide my intentions, how and what to let go and exhale, and to inhale and pick up.   

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